Skypaw's Collection of Short Cringe-Worthy Stories
by Skypaw298
Summary: These are some stories I wrote six years ago, when I was 12. I know, they are absolutely horrible. But don't worry, I've gotten waaaay better since then. Rated T for some gore.
1. Even the Best Warriors Die There

The sky was darkening.

Soon Claw would be going to the Marsh-Area. Every newleaf that came, the best warrior would be sacrificed in honor of the Water Tribe's warrior ancestors. The Tribe believed that if they did not sacrifice a good cat to the ancestors' ranks, they would become angry, and plague them with death.

So was believed that each year, a cat would go to a marshy area way south of the camp; where they would meet Poisoneyes, a giant flesh-eating rat. This rat was the only way that the Tribe believed their sacrifices should be done. Poisoneyes was older than any cat in the Tribe. The cats believed he was alive even when the first Healer had ruled the Tribe.

Cloud, the current Healer, padded into the Prison Chamber, his eyes narrowed. The lithe cat was gray, with patches of worn-away milky white fur, He was extremely old, but still strong.

"It is time."

The young, bracken-colored tom nodded, fearfully. Claw was very scared. But he didn't show it. Not even his eyes did.

"Come," meowed Cloud, not even trembling.

He led the way through the small, jagged entrance to Thorn and Snow, the two cave-guards.

Snow whispered quietly to Claw, "Good luck."

Claw's eyes searched her face, and her eyes had a terrible, pleading look, with a hint of sadness. "I'll miss you," he murmured, then moved away.

Claw painstakingly said good-bye to all his friends for the last time. "Good-bye, friend," the tom mewed miserably to his best friend, Streak.

"I'll never forget you, Claw. You're the bestest friend a cat could ever have. I'll make sure your story goes down generation to generation, untill my great-great-great-great-great-great grandkits know of you," Streak meowed fiercely. Then he burst into tears. "Oh, I'll miss you, old buddy. You're like the brother I never had!"

Claw wrapped his tail around his friend. "Don't worry, Streak. Remember, I'll always be with you, even when I'm dead. Good-bye, until we meet again in the Tribe of Endless Hunting."

"Good-bye." Streak mournfully looked down at his paws.

Claw padded away, to be met by his parents and his siblings. Stone, his father, approached him. "Good-bye, son. We'll miss you," he said curtly.

Claw nodded, and said good-bye to his sobbing mother, Fern.

"My kit! Oh, my kit!" she wailed.

"Don't worry, Fern, I'll be up in the skies, looking down on you for seasons to come."

Rock, Moss, and Leopard came up to him. "Good-bye, they meowed in unison."

"Bye," Claw muttered, and walked away to the entrance, where Cloud was waiting for him.

"So, said good-bye to your friends and family, then?" Cloud asked coldly.

"Yes."

"Come on, then." The Healer gingerly set one paw in front of another, and looked at Claw in disgust.

Claw glared at him. Why was he staring so? At least something must be bothering the older cat.

Later, the ground became softer, and very squelchy. "Well, here we are, now what?" Claw snarled at Cloud.

"We wait." The leader's eyes were as hard as chips of ice.

Slowly, a rustle sounded closer and closer, until a huge ugly head reared out of the dead bushes. It was Poisoneyes. The rat's fur was a light brown, perfect for blending in with cracked twigs and dry leaves. He had a long, crooked snout, and his left ear had a rather large bite taken out of it. His whiskers were ratty and bent. The only thing that Claw noticed was the eyes. They were an intense dark red that made the bracken-colored tom's fur begin to crawl.

"Ah, Cloud. How nice to see you again! What have you brought for me this time?" the rat's harsh voice rasped, like nails on a chalkboard. Odd enough, it was speaking the tongue of cats.

"Tom; his name is Claw. I'm pretty sure he would put up a fierce battle, if he had the guts to do it." With a small effort, Cloud pushed Claw closer to the huge rat.

He turned around to stare at Cloud in horror. Surely he shouldn't be having a conversation with Poisoneyes? Did this happen every time Cloud came?

Sure enough, Poisoneyes nodded. Cloud looked as if he understood, and went back through the bushes.

Claw turned his eyes to the rat. It was bigger than him by way much. It pulled a toothy grin. Claw winced when he saw the yellow, blood-stained, sharp teeth. He wanted to vomit when Poisoneyes stepped out of the dead bushes, showing his whole body.

"Time to play," he rasped out evilly.

Claw backed away against a tree. "No… No…"

Poisoneyes locked eyes with Claw. The tom felt himself being paralyzed. Oh, no… This was terrible! Claw tried to avert his eyes, but Poisoneyes held his gaze.

When he had free control of him, he made Claw fall over in front of him, choking confusedly.

"This is why they call me Poisoneyes," snarled the rat. "I can hold your gaze, and poison you with my eyes."

He threw back his head and laughed, maniacally. It was a harsh, cruel laugh. The laugh of a cold-hearted murderer. Then he stopped, and closed in for the kill where Claw was still choking and growing ever weaker.

Poisoneyes pinned a sharpened claw to his captive's throat. "What should I do with you?" growled the rat. "Drown you? Burn you? Bury you? Or maybe, I should just finish you off myself! Which do you prefer?"

"None of them! I want to live a ripe old age and die happy!" Claw managed to gurgle out.

Poisoneyes giggled uncontrollably, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. "I'm sorry, but that can't happen. Your destiny is you getting killed by me!"

"Noo…" Claw moaned.

"Ah, what's the use, I'll just kill you," Poisoneyes growled, rolling his eyes. He flicked his one sharp claw neatly down Claw's exposed belly.

"Noo!" Claw yowled in agonizing pain.

Poisoneyes laughed again, this time to his full extent. His sunken eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he clutched his huge belly, shaking with mirth. His cackles could be heard all the way by the Tribe. Obviously, he thinks killing a living thing is just hilarious.

As blood gushed out of his wound, Claw's life flashed before him.

As a kit, as a to-be, and then to a cave-guard. Then, to now.

When there was still a bit of life left in him, he saw Cloud emerge from the bushes. He joined Poisoneyes, and together they laughed, like brothers.

Claw gave Cloud a final glaring look, and thought his last thought, Traitor.

Then, he died.


	2. First Snow

A tortoiseshell she-kit took her first steps out of the nursery. It had snowed the previous night, so her paws sank deep into the frozen ground.

She gasped in delight.

"Spottedkit! Come back into the nursery where it's safe and warm!" called her mother, Foxclaw.

"But it's leaf-bare, mother! And all the other kits are playing out here, too!" Spottedkit whined. "See, look at Bluekit! Whitekit is playing in the snow!"

Her mother stepped out into the cold flurries. "Well, just for a bit, then. Go on, Spottedkit."

"Thank you!" she meowed, politefully, then ran off to join the others.

"Hey, hey, hey! Look at who's come to play!" Tigerkit meowed, loudly.

Whitekit and Bluekit tackled him, together.

"Wah-hah! Brrr! It's cold!" growled Redkit and Lionkit.

Dapplepaw and Specklepaw joined the kits in the snow. Frostkit and Brindlekit charged them, bowling them over in the snow.

"Hey! Look at me! I blend in right in the snow!" yowled Snowkit, bluekit's littermate.

Spottedkit smiled. All these kits were almost old enough to be apprentices. She was only 3 moons old. What a bunch of rough kits! She joined them, nonetheless.

Batting at a large pile of snow, she whipped some in Dapplepaw's face. "Hey! I'm gonna get you!" piped up the apprentice.

Dapplepaw whipped a pawful of snow in Spottedkit's face, nearly blinding her. She giggled and helped Bluekit and Redkit make a small fort.

She dipped her nose in some snow, and pushed it towards the fort. The snow was freezing! She sneezed, but continued to push her pile of snow.

"Great! I think we did it," Bluekit meowed, gently patting the pile of snow. "Now to shape it like a fort."

The three kits patted at the snow, making some flakes fall off here and there. As soon as they were done, who should come but Tigerkit, barrelling head-first into the neatly-done fort.

"Tigerkit!" Bluekit, Redkit, and Spottedkit cried out in unison.

"Sowwy!" Tigerkit wailed, bowing his small head.

The three kits glared at him for a few heartbeats, then they giggled. The four kits laughed together. This is the way it should always be, thought Spottedkit.


	3. Mudpaw and the Pretty Pussy Cats

One day, when a young, black tom padded to the fresh-kill pile, a white she-cat stopped by. "Hey, Mudpaw. What'cha doin?" she giggled, obviously flirting.

Mudpaw looked at her in annoyance. "My affairs are no concern of yours, Cloverpaw," he spat.

Picking out a rather large chaffinch, Cloverpaw offered it to him. "Wanna share?" she asked, politely.

"Nuh-uh, go away," Mudpaw muttered.

Cloverpaw looked slightly taken aback, but she didn't give up. "Do you want to go to the training hollow and watch the other apprentices, um… train? Do ya? It'll be fun!" she meowed, blocking his way to the pile of freshly-caught prey.

Mudpaw snarled, and bulled his way past her. "Just leave me alone! I'm going on sun-high patrol."

Another white she-cat came over. "Hello, Mudpaw, is my sister bothering you again?" she asked.

"Yes," Mudpaw replied flatly, giving Cloverpaw a hard glare.

"Oh, Chaffinchpaw! We were just about to eat you," Cloverpaw exclaimed, holding a paw to her mouth.

"Umm… excuse me?" Chaffinchpaw gaped at her sister.

Mudpaw stared incredulously at his den-mate. "What?"

She lifted her paws from her mouth. "Oops… I mean we were going to share a chaffinch, we're not going to eat you," Cloverpaw blurted out, then put her paws back on her mouth.

"O-kay… that was very unsettling," Mudpaw mewed slowly.

"Yes…"

Breaking the mood, Cloverpaw yelped out, "Why don't we all just go hunting!"

Mudpaw gave her another hard glare. "I'm going on the sun-high patrol, in case you didn't remember, mousebrain."

Chaffinchpaw giggled. "Me too!"

Mudpaw gave her a surprised look. "But… Nightpetal didn't assign you for today's patrol!"

She looked let down. "Oh… I thought you meant tomorrow's."

Mudpaw shrugged, then rolled his eyes as yet another she-cat came over. "Hi, Blazepaw!" Cloverpaw and Chaffinchpaw meowed in unison to the bright-orange she-cat.

"Hey," she meowed, timidly.

As soon as she saw Mudpaw, she smiled, and waved her tail in greetings. Mudpaw smiled back at the charming Blazepaw, and shifted his attention to more important matters.

Food.

Choosing a medium-sized mouse and a water-vole, he settled down to listen to the three apprentices talk. Chewing on a piece of meat, he almost spat it out when he heard Blazepaw remark, "Messy eater, isn't he? Very impolite ettiquette."

"What's ettiquette?" Cloverpaw ventured.

"Just… fancy eating. You know… five spoons or forks for a single course."

"What's a spoon? What's a fork?" Mudpaw, Cloverpaw, and Chaffinchpaw chimed in together.

"It's… oh, nevermind," Blazepaw sighed in annoyance. "It's just nothing…"

"Oh… made-up stuff?" Cloverpaw smirked. She knew how Blazepaw always liked to pretend, make up games, et cetera.

"Nuh-uh!" Blazepaw whined. "It's not made-up! I read it out of a book!"

"Yeah, and I suppose you made-up books too! Besides, cats don't even know how to read!" pffted Cloverpaw.

Soon enough, the two got into an argument about whether all that was real or not.

Now, this could go on forever if they wanted it to, but no, Glitterpaw came and broke them up. Ah…. Beautiful tortoiseshell furred Glitterpaw. Mudpaw sighed with bliss.

"Mudpaw! Get over here!" cried a voice. Mudpaw's mentor, Shortstep, was calling him.

Mudpaw politely excused himself and ran off to join the sun-high patrol.


	4. The Wackiest Dream

Fireheart stared at Bluestar.

"Also, I am here for my warrior ceremony! … I am now Bluefur! Darkstripe, you are Clan leader!" she yowled.

Whitestorm turned to Fireheart. "She really has gone crazy," he murmured.

Fireheart nodded.

Dustpelt and Longtail turned to Fireheart. "You heard her! Exile! Shoo! Shoo! We need to clean the camp!" they hissed.

All of a sudden, two broomsticks appeared in their paws. They started to sweep dust and dirt from the camp and out the entrance.

Sandstorm pulled a full soda-can out of her fur. She drank it all in one gulp. "Ahhh…" she sighed, and threw it on the floor, then she walked away.

Darkstripe leaped onto the Highrock. "I am leader now! Mwahahaha! Tigerclaw, you shall be moi deputy! I will order everybody around! Fireheart, I am officially sending you into exile! Now go away before my minions feed you evil muffins!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!" Fireheart yowled.

"Go now, or I will feed you super evil muffins myself!"

Fireheart dipped his head, and bounded enthusiastically out of the camp. Goldenflower ran after him. "No, my love, wait! Come back!" she caterwauled.

Graystripe just stared stupidly at the dark tabby tom sitting nobly.

"I like pie!" Cloudtail yowled and chased after Goldenflower.

…

When Fireheart reached the river that borders RiverClan and ThunderClan, he suddenly poofed onto a motorcycle, with ramps on both sides of the border.

"Kalabung-yeehee!" Fireheart meowed joyfully.

He revved up his handles, sending clouds of exhaust come poofing out and into Goldenflower and Cloudtail's faces. "Nooo! My pie brethren! Come back to meee!" Cloudtail cried out, coughing.

Surprisingly enough, Cinderpaw had caught up with them. "Hi, guys! Am I the only sane cat here these days! Whee!" she spun around and round, and finally fell into the river and drowned herself.

The three cats could still hear Cinderpaw going, "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

Fireheart shrugged and started up his engine, and went flying across the ground. It went up a ramp, but it sank into the water. "Oh, no!" Fireheart gasped, then swam the rest of the way.

Looking behind him he could see that Goldenflower and Cloudtail were trying to swim to him, but a wave engulfed them, and they were gone.

"Oh well," Fireheart meowed and shook water from his pelt.

He then ran the whole day to Barley's barn. Almost winded, he knocked on the door.

"Ravenpaw? Barley? You in there?" he called.

"Who goes there?" shouted a booming voice.

"Uh… uh, it's me, Fireheart!"

"Oh! Well, why didn't you say so in the first place," scoffed the voice. The door magically swung open to reveal a brown tabby tom.

"Hi, I'm Brambleclaw. I'm from the future! Basically, I was going to be Goldenflower's son, but she died, so I don't exist anymore…"

He poofed, and Fireheart blinked.

"Oh, hi, Fireheart. It's Killerhead, by the way," mewed Killerhead, walking over.

"Ravenpaw? You look so… different!" Fireheart gasped.

"Hey, watch the name! It's Killerhead," he hissed. "Oh yeah, and the name just makes me look different. Nothing changed at all."

"Oh, where's Barley?"

"It's Barleystar!" Killerhead bristled. "We loners are part of a new Clan. TwolegLoversClan. Barleystar's the leader, I'm the deputy, and I'll introduce you to the other cats."

At that second, Fireheart noticed other cat smells. This must be the "Clan"'s camp!

"This is Twolegheart," Killerhead flicked his tail at a soft-looking brown tabby she-cat.

"Fireheart," Fireheart nodded curtly to her.

She nervously blinked at him.

"These guys are Lilylily, Sharptooth, Starpelt, Solarsun, Lunarclaw, and Rosecloud." Killerhead's eyes hardened. "All soft kittypets."

"Hey guys, I'm Fireheart," Fireheart shook paws with all six of the cats.

"This is Duskthorn, our medicine cat. Our apprentices are: Sunpaw, Moonpaw, Scorpionpaw, Belugapaw, Sharkpaw, and Fuzzaloogiepaw."

"Ha!" Fireheart gasped at the last one. "Fuzzaloogiepaw! Honestly, who could come up with such a stupid name!"

"I did," growled a very familiar voice. Squirrelflight!

What the heck, she wasn't even born yet!

"Who the friggin' StarClan are you?" Fireheart hissed.

"I'm your daughter for StarClan's sake! Geez, you don't even recognize me, Firestar?" she yowled.

"Firestar? I'm gonna be leader of TwolegLoversClan? Yay me!" he clapped his paws together happily.

"No. Of ThunderClan, you stupid furball," Squirrelflight snarled.

"Oh. But I was just exiled!"

"Not anymore you are!"

Just then, a noble blue-gray figure appeared. It was… Bluefur?! No, Bluestar!

"Wake up, Firestar!" she growled.

Firestar found himself waking up in his den. He yawned and got up. Then, he poked his head out the entrance. The stone hollow camp looked just the way he had left it.

As he watched, Jaypaw padded out of the medicine den, grumbling about something.

"Huh, everything is fine here," Firestar murmured to himself. "It was just a wacky dream."


End file.
